ABOUT KOMA'S HUMOUR : On Hot Air Fm sterio

INEA Managing Editor, Mr. Patrick Ongom Komakech was born in Nebbi District, North Western Uganda on 25th /July/ 1973. He comes from a humble family of three boys and three girls. Patrick holds a Degree in Mass Communication from Makerere University, Kampala and three Diplomas; in Photojournalism, Journalism and in Business studies. Patrick's ambitions to set a news agency started as far back in 1992 when he was in a High school.His first work was published in The New Vision in December 1995. Several of his other work was published in the defuct Crusader Weeky and The Daily Monitor when he covered the 1996 Uganda's Presidential election as a freelance Photograper and writer. He also covered the 2001 Uganda Presidential elections which featured in the Daily Monitor. He participated alot in the coverage of Northern Uganda war, publishing the voiceless community of the Acholi and Alur tribes who suffered in the hands of Lords Resistance Army rebels for 20 years. Patrick in 2004 acted as a Photo Editor with The Daily Monitor for 4 months. He served as the Photo Editor with the Regional defuct weekly; The West Niler until 2007 . He served as a Photo Editor with The Independent News Magazine from 2008 to June 2009. He's currently managing INEA which he started in 2004 and Freelance writer with Daily Monitor and The Independent News Magazine in Kampala.

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Empty bottle lands Entebbe man into trouble     

 

Blue movies which appears to be normal to Kampala people, turned to be strange to Entebbe Kiwafu and Kitooro residents in Entebbe suburb. A man only known as Musisi almost had it rough towards the end of the show while walking out innocently. It all started when I parked my Suzuki Maruti Gipsy at a junction leading to Nakiwogo landing site after my attention was attracted by people fighting to enter through a small door of a video hall. Entry was free of charge on condition that you buy drinks and leave the empty bottles behind. I had not known about the movie title they were fighting to watch. All the same I had to join them in the struggle until I was in before most of them. While in the room, I found them glancing at the movie telecasted on a giant screen. I never minded of the seat because there wasn't  any free one neither. It was a real Blue Movie watched under blue electric bulbs. It was possibly the first show in the area which aroused people’s apathy to watch.  The actors where energetic blacks intercoursing with whites.  Nobody wasted time shouting but sat very busy gluing their eyes seriously on the screen.

 Most men appeared annoyed while watching the actions. Some of them jeered at the actors  while deepening their hands harder into their pockets.  Some men pocketed  double while walking out of the room before the show ended with their pockets bulging ahead of them.

Finally their came `my friend' Musisi who also followed his colleagues out of the room.    Musisi in Luganda means earthquake.  For him he pocketed on the right side of the trousers  buldging big at about 92.08005 degrees South-East. He moved swinging his left arm gently.

Unfortunately enough, Musisi heard a call from a bar attendant who called at a sharp sterial sound. The bar owner only known as Nalongo shouted from the counter at the top of her voice, Banange  Ssebbo Musisi! e cuupa yange enkalu ogitwala waa?! (Meaning Musisi my dear , where are you taking my empty bottle?).She later sent her maid  after him to check the content in Musisi's pocket by physically touching on it.  The report she got was that she found a soft material not different from human flesh in a shape of Human hand. She came back to her boss saying in Luganda; Musisi talina ccupa, alina kintu kifanana mukonogwamuntu.  Meaning Musisi never took the bottle but he has something similar to a human hand. This therefore saved Musisi from what could have been the shame of the year in Kitooro village.

Musisi therefore never carried in his pocket empty bottle but a full one that saved him from embarassment.

 

Mr. Patrick Ongom Komakech `Komagum' `komalim' Komamarmar' Komakadukadu'

Butabika man on a cobweb suicide    

  It is the story about two noisy lovers; Martha Alomongin and Lokodo. Nobody can miss them when he or she visits Butabika, Kirombe, go-down and Luzira surbubs.  Lokodo is a gentle man always dressing in white trousers, red Court and a leather neck tie. He some times prefers exposing his pink pair of socks by tacking in his trousers tips in them. Martha and Lokodo always move in pair, intimately together like white ants thtat have shade off their wings. Locodo does not quarrel and neither does he slap nagging partners. The best he could do is always to keep his distance when ever Martha's attacks become too much on him when they're high. Some times he changes joints for times from his nagging Martha until she cools down. Alas! One Sunday evening Lokodo said enough is enough.“I must cut off this gadget and throw it away. I’m fed up and I better die.” He announced. He announced this from one joint to another but Martha could not give him space.“Enough of what? Can you really cut off this strong muscle?,”Martha asked.They kept on moving as a merry go ronnd until they settle near a Payot adjacent to Butabika Hospital. They settle near a busy joint where malwa was too much and very thick. He had announced to the group about his fate to cut off his pe…..s.“This is just a story. He cannot cut this painful muscle unless someone does it for him,” One Oromcan said.Lokodo had already sat under the tree where the group stand to pee. “Oh my God! He has made it,” One member screamed on his arrival at the short call scene.Lokodo was bleeding profusely on his fore trousers with blood absorbed up to his T-Shirt.    All the group flee the malwa to his rescue to rush him to the nearby Butabika Hospital. Non of them dare to see the cut gadget because of the oozing blood thick red. Lokodo was rushed and mounted on the bodaboda bike; bajaj that rushed him at a speed of 85 km per min through the Butabika hospital.It was a great luck. Dr. Andrew was there. He received them in shock on hearing that the man had cut off his gadget. “Where is the remaining piece?” Dr. Andrew asked the men.“I don’t Know,” The other man answered. “For me I saw a `pusi cat’  (a cat) walking near him as he cried in pain,” The boda boda rider answered. Dr. Andrew was not amazed by any of their reply. He ordered them to leave his patient fresh air and he later called for his nurses to carry Lokodo into the Theatre.“Come later for the results after our work,” Dr. Andrew said. Two hours later, the result was out.“The gudget is there he just slashed off the tip but the whole gadget is there intact. Do not mind,”Dr. Andrew said. The first person to shout `Halleluah!” was Martha who had mourned her lover the whole day.      

pokom@hotmail.com

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